Moving On

Breaking Up, Growing, and Listening

By: Frankie

Breakups are a wild ride

I think the craziest part about breakups is you never really know how you're gonna feel about it until the moment it happens. All of a sudden, your world has completely shifted. This person is who is your best friend - a companion, a lover, an institution - is now preceded witht the phrase "remember" and the pang of nostalgia. For me, the hardest part has been the actualization of that feeling, the act of telling other people about it. The insular rendered public, a fact that now lives not only in your mind but in the story people tell about you. I've been finding myself reflecting on this feeling, thinking about how surreal a breakup is, trying to find all of the moments where you think you "figured it out." Truth is, that doesn't matter much. The only true way to move on is through time, by not stopping to try and grab onto the past, but to acknowledge it, appreciate it, and keep moving forward. It's not easy, and it's certainly not simple, but when you wake up in the morning, you realize you made it another day and you're still there, you're still you, and you're going to be ok.

I've been lucky enough to stay friends with my ex. I wouldn't want to not talk to them again, that would make me more sad than the breakup itself (and frankly it's way too dramatic). In our last chat, I could almost see our futures. We laughed, we cried, we talked about how we were doing, how we would be there for each other. It felt good, talking like that. After three days of feeling like I was going to explode, it made me realize it would be possible to feel ok again. When we see each other next, it might be awkward, but that's part of the process. You can't expect those moments to automatically sort themselves out neatly. As long as you wake up, keep moving, and listen to yourself, things will get better. Even if you don't realize it. And now, I have another best friend, someone to root for, and someone to support, as they will for me.

Breakups sure are a wild ride.

Bay Area

New York

Since 2003